Christmas Tree, Oh, Christmas Tree...

Well here we are Christmas 2005 fast approaching. This year we decided to make a family outing out of finding a tree. Megan, her mom, having recently arrived from Hawaii, and I braving the wilderness…and paying some guy at a Christmas tree farm 20 bucks to cut down a tree and tie it to the top of my car.

I know, I know, not all that adventurous, but you have to remember our ideal family outing consists of stopping somewhere for breakfast \ brunch, hitting up the local candy store, making a quick side stop to get the tree, then getting home as fast as possible so that we can snuggle in bed like a couple of hibernating bears.

Later that night we all got together for the tree decorating party which of course included listening to “Christmas Like” music and ginger bread baking. Sadly however, my family’s warped sense of holiday spirit also included making anatomically correct ginger bread men and women…Not exactly the Saturday Evening Post version of Christmas, but eh, what can you say…at least everyone had fun.

New Entry - Way Overdue!

Well here it is November 14th, and I am only just now getting off my lazy posterior and posting something new. Sorry for the delay.

So, what has happened since last wrote? Well for starters, my wife, Megan is officially 6 weeks pregnant. We are both very excited and at the same time very scared. A few weeks ago we took a road trip to Rupert, Idaho to visit my Mom and Dad. They live on a little spread out in the boon docks. I will get the pictures posted as soon as I can.

Oh, here is a point of interest. How many of you know who Mary Alice is on Desperate Housewives? Her real name is Brenda Strong, and she has been in a few movies, a couple of Seinfeld episodes, CSI, and others. She is my Aunt. Well, actually I guess the right terminology would be aunt-in-law. And before any of you ask…I don’t know her well enough to make requests.

Her husband “Tom Henri” is the one that I am actually closer with. He was a former Marine and took me under his wing when I came back from the first Gulf War. I still have the Dress Blues he gave me, although I have had to get them tailored twice now, and only the collar and sleeves are still original. (Ha, ha, ha). My ever expanding belly is finally taking its toll.

Well that is all for now. I will try and publish a little more regularly.

Last Entry for August

Well here we are…the end of the month. I would like to finish up with something exciting, but the truth is I have been working like a fool for the past couple of days or so. We are picking up a new customer at work, and I have spent the last few days following one of their reps around learning the ins and outs of their doctor office configurations and setup.

My wife and I did manage to make some time for each other this weekend; however it was cut a little short when one of our customers called in requesting assistance. Oh, well…that is the way the cookie crumbles. At least the weather was nice...not too cold, not too hot, a perfect day for a ride.

Megan and I took a road trip out to the coast. It felt really nice to cut loose and catch some scenery for a few hours. We stopped for a break at one of the “View Points” along the road, but to be honest the view wasn’t all that great. I snapped a picture of it anyway.

We stopped at Cannon Beach to grab some brunch and see some sites. The food was great, and the atmosphere relaxing. The entire building was made out of ponderosa pine tree logs, and had a huge fire place in the center of the room. I wonder if they ever fire it up during the winter months?

We took the time to stop for fresh salt water taffy and to pet a little Irish Terrier named Mocha, who had the fur coloring to match the name, but we had to cut our visit short when my cell phone received a support request from the Children’s Museum. It took me the better half of an hour to get back to Portland. I should have known better, and gone somewhere closer to town. It all worked out in the end, I got the customer back up and running, but I really should have gotten to them faster than what I did.

Well, that about sums it up for the past few days. See you next month.

Portland Saturday Market

Every Saturday and Sunday, starting from the first week in March and ending on December 24, an open air market, known simply as the Portland Saturday Market, turns the Skidmore Fountain and Burnside Bridge area of downtown Portland into an artistic Mecca, and tourist magnet. It is a definite must see if you have never been to Portland, and one of my all time favorite low coast attractions.

My wife and I took my Mother-in-Law to it for the first time this past weekend. We spent the day looking at local arts and crafts, watching live entertainment, and munching down on the local fair.


My personal favorites are Erika’s Greek Eatery, and Limey’s British Pub Grub, both of which are located in the Food Court. If you are a hard core soda-aholic, you will want to bring your own beverage, as you will not find any soda’s in the “All Natural” selections listed in this area, but don’t let that scare you off, the food and live entertainment are well worth the effort.


You will find a wide variety of artisans and crafts to tantalize the eyes. A lot of the artist who frequent the market do so on a random schedule, as other Saturday Markets through out Oregon and Washington draw their attention from time to time, but this works out in your favor as each trip to the Market promises something new surprises as well as some old friends.

I also enjoy the fact that you don’t have to get trapped in the downtown parking nightmare. I like to park at one of the Park and Rides in Beaverton and catch the MAX train into downtown. It drops me off and picks me up right at the market so I never have to waist time looking for a place to park. Another benefit to taking the MAX in is the fact that the train passes right by Pioneer Square, which usually has some free to the public event taking place on the weekends.


I have included a rough map with the Markets main sights listed in bubbles. If you are ever in the Portland area on a weekend, make sure you look it up…you will not be disappointed.

Kiki's first bouquet

In this post we are crossing a milestone for the family…Kiki has received her first bouquet of flowers.  She will be 21 this September 25 and we are all looking forward to taking her out for a night on the town.

I know that it sounds odd for someone to be 20 years old and receiving their first bouquet…but life has a funny way of delaying things. Kiki was home schooled and missed out on a lot of things that all of us take for granted. Congrats Kiki, and thank you Chris for making this moment possible. You are a good man, and I am so happy that you and Kalina found each other.

A Trip to Zoe's Cabin (Click on Photo)

This weekend my wife and I decided that we needed a little romantic get away. We both have been working very hard lately, and with Megan’s mother and sister living with us, we started realizing that there hasn’t been very much time for just the two of us.

As of June 11th 2005, Megan and I have been officially married for five years; I say officially because technically we have been married longer...There was a time when it looked as if “inner family drama” was going to make the wedding fall apart. So needless to say, we decided to hedge our bets and have the Justice of the Peace take care of the legal stuff early. The way we saw it, if the wedding did fall apart, she and I would just hop on the plane and take off for our honeymoon, and if it didn’t…well, no one would be the wiser. It has been five years now, and guess what…No one is the wiser…LOL.

However, for the last year and a half Megan’s sister Kalina (AKA: Kiki) has been living with us and, as of last week Shirley (Megan and Kalina’s mother) has also been staying with us. I love Kiki and Shirley to death, but to be honest, when the three of them are together, I become the odd man out. This weekend get away was just the thing Megan and I needed to reaffirm our love and devotion to each other, and to be honest…It was one of the best times of our lives.


Enjoy!

How We See Ourselves, vs How Others See Us

How we see ourselves.













How others see us.













And of course, the reason the words "Adult Supervision Required" are tattooed on your chest.

The In-Laws are coming to town

Well, with the arrival of my mother-in-law on Thursday evening, it has become official, that the in-laws are now moving to Portland.

Of course for the past week or so, my wife and sister have been shedding tears of anguish over this horrific turn of events, but I know that it is all for show. Truth be known, the two of them are without a doubt certified members of the “Drama Queen League”. They may bark a lot, but when it comes down to it, they are both very happy that their mother is here.

On Saturday, Kalina and Chris took off for a weekend getaway, leaving Megan and I to entertain Mom. Shirley, my mother-in-law, had some joking fun with Chris; she kept telling him how happy she was that he had no problems with letting her come along on their retreat. Of course she was kidding, but this was the first time Chris had met her, so needless to say, he thought she was serious. You should have seen the look on his face…It was one of those “Damned if I do, Damned if I don’t” kind of looks. It was everything I could do not to laugh out loud.

Later that night, a flood of similar memories began bubbling to the top of my brain. I remember one time her father convinced me that a bowl of mints sitting on the counter were free. At first I didn’t really believe him, but when he picked one up and popped it into his mouth I thought that it must be for real. Naturally I grabbed four or five and proceeded to munch down myself…moments later a stunned waitress asked me how I would like to pay for the mints I had just eaten. God I was so embarrassed; my father-in-law just laughed and laughed, at least he was kind enough to pay for my ill gotten gain, I was a college student and at that time in my life, two dollars could mean the difference between having clean clothing, and having to perform the sniff test.

To be honest, it didn’t take very long for me to start dishing out what I was receiving. I remembered one time my Mother-in-law was feeling down in the dumps because the family Caravan she drove was looking aged and had a tendency to belch huge clouds of bluish grey smoke as it rolled down the road. Every time I saw them going anywhere in the Caravan I would wonder if any of them felt like Jesus, floating along on there own personal cloud.

Well that is all for today, not all that exciting or interesting, but…eh, it’s a post.

Our Office is Expanding (Click on Photo)

Well, it is official...we are expanding our office. On one side we are all excited about the expansion, it means we are growing as a company, but on the other hand...My god what a pain.
As you can see from the picture my temporary office is slightly less than “executive” in stature. It makes me feel like that guy in the movie "Office Space” you know who I am talking about…the "It’s my Stapler Guy". As long as they don't move me to the basement, I am not going to start worrying...I am sure that's still weeks away.
I had a dream once, right around the time we started planning the expansion. In the dream my office had been moved into the elevator. It wasn’t all that bad, except for the fact that I kept losing phone and internet connectivity when I hit the 2nd and 7th floor...needless to say I don't use those numbers when playing the lottery.

Family, Friends and McMenamins (Click on Photo)

Kalina and Christopher -- Cannon Beach, Oregon (June, 2005)

My Father - (click on photo for story)

As a young man I remember an older acquaintance telling me that one of the pivotal defining moments in our lives, is when we realize that our parents are mortal. I am not saying that I agreed with him, after all, for him perhaps that was a defining moment. For me, however, all his statement managed to accomplish was to bring a new thread of thought to life. I began to make a point of really getting to know my father.

This is the story of that journey.

Maui Vacation - (click on photo to view more)

A Sunday in the Blue Ridge Mountains of Tennessee

Photo taken 1927 - The young boy in the center bottom is my father.

Something to Ponder

Have you ever wondered what tourettes syndrome would be like in a different culture? What if the culture had no real curse words to begin with; would the tourettes afflicted be considered innovators for being the first to develop them, or would they be ostracized for being different? It does tend to make you wonder.

For instance last night I was watching a movie with my wife, and the actors were talking about marriage customs. Apparently in an Amish wedding the bride and groom kneel down facing each other, staring at each other for an hour or so. In the end, without a word having been spoken, the two are officially considered married.

In my mind I can just picture either the bride or groom, gesturing wildly, while muttering the words, “M-m-mule piss!” or “Barley Butt”. It’s not a pleasant thing to picture in ones minds eye, but then again…it does pass the time.

Subtle eh?

Wake up and feed me, fat ass.

General Babbling

Life is like a roller coaster with a couple of the supports rotting out or missing. Every time you weave, bob, climb, and dive your way around the tracks, you feel the exhilaration of being alive, but at the same time you can’t help but feel a burning anxiety of wonder…Will this be the time that everything comes crashing to the ground?

I sometimes wish that during my youth, I had been afflicted with some traumatic experience that would have required counseling. Everybody that I know who participated in some type of counseling during their early years, seems to have developed a communications gift of knowing what to ask, or how to say things so that others do not become guarded, angry, or withdrawn. Of course, with the way my luck pans out, I never would have gotten any treatment, and would have eventually spiraled down into a compose heap of adulthood

On the Job Burnout

Earlier this week my wife signed up for 24 hour fitness and of course, being the kind and caring husband that I am, I was guilted into going with her. To say the least it was an unusual experience. The sales rep, whom we shall refer to as Mr. J was obviously showing all the initial signs of on the job burnout.

Earlier that month, during her initial orientation, my wife had been informed by another sales associate that 24 hour fitness had derived its name from the fact that you feel better 24 hours a day. My wife was under the impression that the name was derived from the fact that they were open 24 hours a day and wanted clarification from Mr. J as to which one was correct.

Mr. J, who was obviously only half listening as he hammered away on his workstation, honing his multitasking skills by signing up my wife, perusing exercise porn, and pretending to listen, responded with a quasi-questioning, quasi-contemptible look and a short yet concise “What, what are you talking about…do you smoke crack?”.

Later, as we were wrapping the process up, he sat back and asked with an unpracticed lack-luster stare, and sarcasm induced tone “Do either of you have any other relevant, non-hypothetical questions that you would like to ask me?” We had to laugh; I mean, my god, what else can you do.

Later on I found out that Mr. J, and his cohorts in crime work an unprecedented 12 hour shift five days a week, and that they were not paid overtime. I had to question this, as I was under the impression that the law required companies to give overtime for anything over 40 hours a week. Apparently the company has an option of giving overtime or other compensation, and in the case of 24 hour fitness that compensation is credits applied against the employee’s sign-up quotas. This causes me to wonder, what on earth do these various companies think they are accomplishing? It may produce results in the short run, but one would think that the turn over and customer dissatisfaction rates would have to be killing them.

It isn’t just 24 hour fitness that does things like this. Another company, Jenny Craig, makes their employees break up their days off so that they never get two off in a row, as well as enforce a split shifts schedule, which means that each employee works 4 hours in the morning, is off for 4 hours, and then comes back to work another 4 hours in the evening. I know that this might not sound like all that big of a deal, but think about this, in most parts of the country, the average commute time is around an hour and a half. This number can increase significantly if the employee is living in a high traffic area. In essence, the employee either spends their entire 4 hours fighting traffic, or they spend it hanging close to their work waiting for the next shift to start.

In my opinion, this type of employee scheduling is insane. Sure during the short term a company can see significant return with such practices, but over the long run these methods lead to greater employee burn out and customer service apathy.

Beauty Remembered

I have done things…things that other people have only dream about doing. I have watched Lion Fish dancing upon the coral of the East China Sea, stared in wonder as the desert night came alive in the blood red glow of a thousand oil fires, stood upon a frozen mountain in Norway watching as meteor showers wove their way in and out of the northern lights, and in the pale light of early morning I basked in the loving glow of my young bride her face a peaceful semblance of beauty. These are but a few fleeting moments of a good life, recorded nowhere else but in recesses of my memories…It makes me sad to think that when the day comes that I finally fade from this world, so too will the beauty that I have witnessed.

To Break Bread with the Dead

Unless you have broken bread with the dead
You will never stop the grumblings of ghosts
Haunting the memories in your head

Standing upon the tattered sands of nowhere I had to ask
Were you a good man, did you laugh, did you cry
Did you love before you died?

What was your name, where were you from
Did you dream desires lofty and grand?
or were they a beauty crafted of simple hand

Is someone waiting for you still?
Praying hoping searching with empty eyes
To bring them peace, and put you to rest
I would bring them word of your demise
But the silence of your death holds me firm
And in my head your ghost will continue to return

What I would not give to break bread with the dead

Fire and Ice

(From Harper’s Magazine, December 1920.)

SOME say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I’ve tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To know that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

Robert Frost (1874–1963).
Miscellaneous Poems to 1920.

I Remember

I remember when I first met you; you looked so young and frightened. I didn’t fall in love with you right away, I was so much older, and we both know that there were other complications. I don’t even think that I realized I had fallen for you until the day you went away for a week or two. Those were some of the emptiest days of my entire life, the fire inside me had expired.

On the day that you returned, I remember that you looked different; or rather I was finally seeing you, as if for the first time. The way you walked into the room, there was this grace about you that seemed to brighten everything that you came into contact with. It was then that I knew…No matter the consequences, I would make you mine. My God, you were so beautiful, how could I have been so blind?

If you can't laugh at yourself...Then you are nothing but a sadistic evil bastard.

I know that there comes a point when we realize our own mortality. For some it is an epiphany occurrence, when we look at ourselves as if for the first time and realize that the youthful persona has indeed faded, only to be replaced by a weary worn face and tattle tale signs of speckled grey.

I have to wonder…are all of the good years behind me, are they gone? I look upon what my efforts have gained and I wonder if anything is really worth it. I want to get back to the basics, at one point and time all that I wanted was to be happy…when did I trade that in for two cars, and house full of furniture, and obligations up the kazoo? In some respects I am disappointed in my accomplishments, in others, I know I should be grateful and proud, but I still can’t help it…I am not happy, and “that” defines me more than anything else.

I don’t know what to do…How can I be expected to hold things together for others if I can’t even hold them together for myself?